


This Was 100% Not A Horrible Idea (Disclaimer: It Was)

by Katana20034



Category: Everyman HYBRID, MLAndersen0, Marble Hornets, Nightmare Diaries, Tribe Twelve
Genre: Alcohol, Alex gets stuck in a toilet, Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Cannibalism, Canon-Typical Violence, Crack, Crack Crossover, Crack Relationships, Crackheads the lot of them, Demonic Possession, EYES (the game), F/M, Fluff and Crack, Group chat, Homestuck References, I Don't Even Know, I blame the discord, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied Sexual Content, Kinda, M/M, Memes, New Year's Eve, Observer is still a douche, Party, Quotes from my group chat, Shenanigans, Silly, Sleepovers, Stupidity, Takes place in the same universe as Lost and Found for the MH bois, Texting, There's A Tag For That, This Is STUPID, because I'm a filthy Homestuck, cannot stress that enough, chat, cryptBIT and Precane are crack ships the discord came up with, it's complicated - Freeform, just be patient, michael shows up eventually, milo was going to be in this but I gave up, pumpkin bitch, wow I have a lot of tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-10-29 16:34:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20799656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katana20034/pseuds/Katana20034
Summary: A slenderverse crossover chatroom fic I wrote because why not. Featuring some quotes from my group chat as well as some crack ships. This is silly and exists mostly because I am full of crack fic ideas.Evan decides to make a group chat with literally almost everyone, thinking it's a good idea. it was not. Shenanigans ensue.





	1. This Most Certainly Did Not Go As Planned But Here We Are

**Author's Note:**

> Here's everybody's usernames, for reference:
> 
> MaxNotSoWell: Noah  
Macheteman: Evan/HABIT (I feel like I read this same username in a fic somewhere so I'm sorry if I'm stealing and don't realize, it just popped in my head)  
visceralVoid: Cat/Cryptic  
Crackhead: Jax/Arcane  
Vin E: Vinny  
Mynamejeff: jeff  
AmIWright: Tim  
Thebirdboi: Jay  
Batterypowered: Alex K.  
TheStar: Brian  
TheKevIsIn: Kevin  
FToPayRespects: Firebrand  
BirdEater: Prebrand  
theeyes: Observer  
Michaellothere: Michael  
NoThisIs: Patrick
> 
> Yes most of these are puns.

**clusterfuck extravaganza**  
**4:37AM**

_Macheteman created a group chat_

**Macheteman**: and so it begins

**Vin E:** Holy shit ev that's a lot of people

MaxNotSoWell: Oh hey guys

**Vin E:** Hey there, Noah. How are you?

**MaxNotSoWell:** doing horrible as always.

**TheKevIsIn**: I'd help if I could, man, but you know how the other asshole is

**MaxNotSoWell**: Don't worry about it, Kev.

**Mynamejeff**: who are all these other people Evan's added and why are you all awake at this hour

**Macheteman**: Just some people I met and some people they know too

**AmIWright**: So this is what Brian and I wake up to?

**Macheteman**: look it's like 4:45 and I'm bored and I was going to do this anyways

**TheStar**: I officially know only like four or five people here

**Thebirdboi**: Same here.

**Batterypowered**: oh wow the whole gang's here

**Macheteman**: was not expecting this many of you guys to actually be awake lol

**Macheteman**: it's like a party up in here

**visceralVoid**: bad word choice to use around me

**Macheteman**: oh right sorry cat

**visceralVoid**: dont worry about it she's dormant rn

**Crackhead**: you know this guy, cat?

**visceralVoid**: yeah I'll dm you and explain later

**Vin E:** uh we should probably introduce ourselves if everyone else here is just as confused as I am

**Macheteman**: yeah probably

**Macheteman**: name's Evan, though most of you guys probably knew that already

**Vin E**: Vinny Everyman

**MaxNotSoWell**: I'm Noah, I run TribeTwelve

**TheKevIsIn**: Kevin Haas

**AmIWright**: Tim. Tim Wright.

**TheStar**: like Tim said earlier, I'm Brian.

**Mynamejeff**: it's in my username it should be obvious who I am.

**Batterypowered**: Alex Kralie, former director of Marble Hornets

**AmIWright**: and resident asshole/psychopath

**Batterypowered**: Shut up you're no better

**Thebirdboi**: I'm Jay Merrick

**TheStar**: aka the man with no common sense

**Thebirdboi**: yeah, yeah, I know.

**visceralVoid**: I'm Cat, Evan and I know each other through... Mutual acquaintances. I help out Jax with Nightmare Diaries

**Crackhead**: you can call me Jax, and like Cat said, I run the Nightmare Diaries YouTube channel

**Macheteman**: holy shit that took forever

**visceralVoid**: you're the one who made the group chat

**Macheteman**: fair.

**AmIWright**: why did you make this chat, anyways?

**Macheteman**: we've all been through similar stuff, thought maybe we could help each other out a bit

**visceralVoid**: wait you mean to tell me that the other four aside from you guys from EMH and TT went through this shit with The Connector too?

**Batterypowered**: im gonna assume you mean the tall fucker and the answer is yes

**Crackhead**: well damn

**Vin E**: Evan, is Cat who I'm assuming she is?

**Macheteman**: yes and please for the love of god do not bring that up

**Vin E**: sorry about that

**Crackhead**: oh right uh Noah sorry about that thing a while back with... y'know, the thing you saw, that _she_ and the other you were involved in

**MaxNotSoWell**: it's ok, I know that wasn't you.

**TheKevIsIn**: being possessed is literally the worst

**visceralVoid**: wait Kevin you've been possessed too?

**TheKevIsIn**: unfortunately

**Vin E**: wait- say "I" if you've been possessed or otherwise have a second identity due to similar means

**Batterypowered**: don't think you needed to say that so formally but whatever

**visceralVoid**: I

**Crackhead**: I

**Macheteman**: I

**TheKevIsIn**: I

**AmIWright**: I

**TheStar**: I

**Thebirdboi**: I

**Batterypowered**: bonus points if someone died because of said other identity

**Thebirdboi**: Alex that was uncalled for

**Batterypowered**: sorry

**Mynamejeff**: I mean he's not wrong tho

**visceralVoid**: if you're not careful one of em might come after you tbh

**Mynamejeff**: been there done that don't look forward to doing it again

**Macheteman**: anyways moving on

**MaxNotSoWell**: what I don't get is why this skinny fucker keeps doing this to all of us

**TheKevIsIn**: I've not been able to figure it out either

**Crackhead**: we don't know either. What the hell would he want with two weirdo teens anyways

**Vin E**: wait you two are teenagers?

**visceralVoid**: 18. Technically adults.

**MaxNotSoWell**: I was about to say I was a lot more worried for a minute there considering what I saw

**Thebirdboi**: what you saw?

**MaxNotSoWell**: NOT IMPORTANT DONT WORRY ABOUT IT

**Crackhead**: well technically _she_ is like super old because she's some sort of demon thing but anyways

**visceralVoid**: I'm more concerned as to what Noah is screaming about but ok

**TheKevIsIn**: don't ask

**TheStar**: wow was it that bad

**MaxNotSoWell**: OK LETS CHANGE THE SUBJECT HERE

**AmIWright**: hey guys have you seen my jacket it's not in Bri and I's room

**Batterypowered**: it's probably somewhere in the house just keep looking I'm trying to get Jay to fall asleep here

**Thebirdboi**: hypocrite you're on your phone too

**visceralVoid**: he makes a point

**Vin E**: ok but I don't think any of us seem inclined to get any spleep rn

**TheStar**: "spleep?"

**Vin E**: sorry I turned autocorrect off

**Crackhead**: spleep

**visceralVoid**: spleep

**TheStar**: spleep

**MaxNotSoWell**: spleep

**AmIWright**: spleep

**Macheteman**: spleep

**TheKevIsIn**: spleep

**Batterypowered**: spleep

**Thebirdboi**: spleep

**Mynamejeff**: spleep

**Vin E**: I hate you all

**Macheteman**: :(

**Vin E**: except you, Ev.

**Macheteman**: :)

**Mynamejeff**: get a room lol

**Macheteman**: we have one

**visceralVoid**: then use it lol

**Vin E**: that's it I'm going to bed fuck you guys

**Macheteman**: when and where

**Vin E**: EVAN

**Macheteman**: ;)

**Crackhead**: i w h e e z e d

**MaxNotSoWell**: Evan oh my god

**TheKevIsIn**: lol I don't even know what to say about this, man

**AmIWright**: why does this remind me of someone else we know

**Batterypowered**: oh shut up Tim

**TheStar**: hey be nice to my boy

**Crackhead**: wow

**MaxNotSoWell**: in hindsight this chat was a horrible idea lol


	2. This Is Awfully Coincidental Timing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everybody's other selves show up, and chaos ensues. Observer is a prick. Prebrand is just kinda there. Arcane and Cryptic still hate each other, and no not in the Blackrom way.  
Also HABIT and Crypt make everyone feel awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise, Milo, Michael, Mr. Scars, and Patrick will show up. Just not yet. I plan for this fic to be at least 6 chapters long because I literally can not stop writing this. 
> 
> Also writing on an iPad is a bitch
> 
> Also I know it can be hard to tell sometimes but Jax is Arcane in this one. So just, note that Crackhead is currently Arc. Some of the gang's other selves don't bother with separate accounts and just use the same account as their hosts. Arcane is one of them.

**clusterfuck extravaganza**  
**11:11PM**

**MaxNotSoWell**: ugh the combination of numbers on the clock right now brings back bad memories

_Four people joined the group chat_

**theeyes**: surelynotallthosememorieswerebadnoahhahahahahahahahahaha ☉

**MaxNotSoWell**: OH HELL NO WHY ARE YOU HERE?!

**theeyes**: didyoumissmenoah ☉

**theeyes**: admitit ☉

**theeyes**: youmissedme ☉

**MaxNotSoWell**: how did you get in this chat?!

**theeyes**: weletourselvesin ☉

**theeyes**: cantjustletkevinhaveallthefun ☉

**MaxNotSoWell**: fuck off, asshole

**FToPayRespects**: trust me I wish he wasn't here too dude

**MaxNotSoWell**: when the hell did you get here?!

**FToPayRespects**: same time four eyes did

**theeyes**: ohgreatthestubbornishere ☉

**BirdEater**: me too! :D

**MaxNotSoWell**: today literally could not get worse

**Vin E**: uh... about that, Noah

**Macheteman**: IT MOST CERTAINLY CAN

**MaxNotSoWell**: oh HELL no

**Mynamejeff**: oh shit oh fuck

**Batterypowered**: judging by the chat I'd say everyone is having the same issue right now?

**AmIWright**: ...

**TheStar**: :(

**MaxNotSoWell**: are literally all of them active?!

**visceralVoid**: tHEy aRE nⓍw

**Crackhead**: the gang's all here!

**Thebirdboi**: I literally only know three of you

**MaxNotSoWell**: oh god

**Batterypowered**: welp this all went to shit real fast

**BirdEater**: party poopers :(

**visceralVoid**: DId sⓍMeⓍnE sAy PArTy

**Crackhead**: Cryptic oh my god

**BirdEater**: Arc! It's me! :D

**Crackhead**: Hey Prebrand! Long time no see!

**FToPayRespects**: ugh I forgot you two know each other

**MaxNotSoWell**: that still weirds me out

**Macheteman**: NICE OF YOU TO JOIN US, C.

**visceralVoid**: thANkS, HAbiT

**Batterypowered**: ok wait so who/what are these guys exactly? Are they like Tim, Brian, and Jay?

**Thebirdboi**: ahem

**Batterypowered**: ugh. I mean Masky, Hoody, and Skully.

**Vin E**: oh please don't get them started

**Macheteman**: TOO LATE

**Mynamejeff**: damnit

**Macheteman**: NAME'S HABIT, FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVENT HAD THE PLEASURE OF MEETING ME.

**Mynamejeff**: i wouldn't consider meeting you a pleasure

**Macheteman**: ARENT YOU SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD

**Mynamejeff**: uh

**AmIWright**: They call me Masky, I suppose you can call me that.

**TheStar**: :(

**AmIWright**: my partner here is Hoody.

**Thebirdboi**: I'm called Skully.

**Batterypowered**: the only decent one of these three

**AmIWright**: I'd watch your mouth, Kralie.

**theeyes**: theobserver ☉

**MaxNotSoWell**: more like "the douchebag"

**theeyes**: noneedtoberudenoah ☉

**MaxNotSoWell**: you possessed my boyfriend and watched me sleep and ruined my life I'll be as rude as I want

**FToPayRespects**: you tell him, Noah!

**MaxNotSoWell**: thank you firebrand

**FToPayRespects**: speaking of which, I'm Firebrand. Technically I'm Noah's future self but that's not that important right now and is excessively overcomplicated anyways

**Macheteman**: OH HEY DUDE HOWS IT GOING

**FToPayRespects**: it's going pretty shitty but thanks for asking. It's been a long time, HABIT.

**visceralVoid**: mY NAmE iS CrYPtiC

**Macheteman**: SHE'S HOT

**Vin E**: I forgot that's how you two know each other -_-

**Macheteman**: YOURE THE ONE THAT DECIDED TO WALK IN ON US

**Vin E**: don't remind me

**visceralVoid**: hELLⓍ AgAIn VinNY

**Vin E**: uh hi

**Crackhead**: Im Arcane. I'm clearly the better one out of me and my partner here.

**visceralVoid**: yⓍU'Re a nArciSSisTiC biTCh IS WhAT YⓍu ArE

**Crackhead**: asshole

**visceralVoid**: CRybAbY

**BirdEater**: your partner is so mean, Arcane! D:

**Crackhead**: yeah she sucks

**Macheteman**: LEAVE CRYPT ALONE BITCH YOURE NO BETTER

**MaxNotSoWell**: it's like a bitchfight up in here

**theeyes**: thisisratheramusingtowitnesshahahahaha ☉

**FToPayRespects**: i hate to say it but he's right

**theeyes**: wowyouactuallyagreedwithmeforonce ☉

**FToPayRespects**: wow you actually managed to not be a constant piece of shit for once

**theeyes**: okthatsitimdoneimsickofputtingupwithyoutoday ☉

_theeyes has left the group chat_

**FToPayRespects:** victory

**MaxNotSoWell**: thanks firebrand

**FToPayRespects**: anytime dude

_FToPayRespetcs has left the group chat_

**BirdEater**: at least observer is gone :D

**Crackhead**: cant argue with that

**visceralVoid**: wISh SⓍMeⓍnE ElSE wAS GⓍnE

**Crackhead**: fuck off

**Macheteman**: HEY CRYPTIC ARE YOU AND THE OTHER BITCH IN THE SAME PLACE RIGHT NOW OR ARE YOU ALONE

**visceralVoid**: fⓍRtunAtElY tHE LAttEr

**Macheteman**: COOL ILL SEE YOU IN A BIT

**Vin E**: at least I'll get the house to myself for a bit for once

**Macheteman**: MAYBE I SHOULD MAKE YOU COME ALONG, VINNY

**Vin E**: uh no thanks I'll pass

**Macheteman**: SMART CHOICE

**AmIWright**: Wow you guys are chaotic I can't believe some of you actually work for him

**TheStar**: :(

**AmIWright**: you said it, bri.

**Mynamejeff**: he didn't even say anything-

**Batterypowered**: it's best if you don't question it

**Thebirdboi**: Alex is right

**Batterypowered**: Uh thank you Skully

**Thebirdboi**: you're welcome.

**Crackhead**: well if Cryptic is going to go have fun with her boy, I'm gonna go have fun with mine. See you soon Prebrand~

**BirdEater**: Yay!

**MaxNotSoWell**: ugh I think I'm gonna be sick I still can't believe he's me

**Crackhead**: he's the better one

**MaxNotSoWell**: i want to Yeet myself off the tower right now how could another version of me possibly be attracted to her

**Crackhead**: says you, I know what you and Kevin/the other guy get up to

**MaxNotSoWell**: SHUT UP THATS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

**visceralVoid**: wAY tⓍ iNvADe hiS PRivACy, ARcAnE

**Crackhead**: oh shut up you and HABIT are gross too

**visceralVoid**: I Am sⓍ CLⓍsE TⓍ shⓍViNg My sCiSSⓍrs uP YⓍur asS

**Crackhead**: try me bitch

**MaxNotSoWell**: ok I'm leaving before the blood starts to spill

**Mynamejeff**: sounds like a plan.

**Vin E**: agreed

**Batterypowered**: ~fuck this shit I'm out~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, I promise there is more to come. If you guys have any requests for things you want the gang to discuss in the chat room, feel free to let me know, and I'll be happy to write it. 
> 
> If you want to know how Prebrand and Arcane became a thing and what the thing involving the two of them that Noah saw and keeps getting referenced is, go read ObserverFuck's fic about it. Also she writes great stuff so yeah. 
> 
> Noah said yeet in facade and I am taking full advantage of this fact.
> 
> Also I'm out of Faygo again this is a crisis.
> 
> Please feed your author a steady diet of comments and kudos! It gives them motivation!


	3. Everything Goes Downhill And Nobody Is Surprised

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Alex is being Alex and gets yeeted, Michael and Patrick finally join the chat, and I use a quote from my group chat (thank you Remi for existing)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t stop writing this fic. Help.
> 
> I keep re-reading this chapter and.... eh... I’m not as happy with it as I could be but I really want to get this one posted so I can post the next one. 
> 
> So, I hope you guys enjoy this, I guess

**clusterfuck** **extravaganza**

**10:15AM**

**Vin E**: So, wait- how exactly does Evan even know the two teenagers? He told me how he knows everybody else, but not those two.

**visceralVoid**: you mean me and Jax?

**Vin E**: yeah

**Crackhead**: mutual connections.

**visceralVoid**: careful with your word choice there, Jax

**Crackhead**: sorry. Cat explained it to me earlier. HABIT and Cryptic know each other.

**MaxNotSoWell**: wait. What.

**visceralVoid**: ugh I don’t wanna talk about it.

**TheKevIsIn**: I take it we don’t wanna know?

**Crackhead**: probably not, no.

**Michaellothere** joined the chat

**Michaellothere**: uh, hi- I didn’t see the chat until this morning

**Vin E**: Oh...uh... hey Michael.

**Michaellothere**: hey. Patrick says hi too.

**visceralVoid**: hello complete stranger who the fuck might you be?

**Michaellothere**: I’m Michael Andersen.

**Crackhead**: Jax. visceralVoid is Cat. We’re from Nightmare Diaries.

**Michaellothere**: I see. Sorry about being kinda late to the party with this

**visceralVoid**: wow you people have bad word choice

**Michaellothere**: huh

**Macheteman**: Yeah I keep forgetting about that

**visceralVoid**: y’all keep saying “party” but it has occurred to me that y’all wouldn’t know why that’s bad word choice

**Macheteman**: well, like maybe two of us would

**Michaellothere**: what do you mean?

**visceralVoid**: Cryptic and Arcane are part of “The Party.” At least, that’s what they call themselves.

**MaxNotSoWell**: like the Collective?

**Crackhead**: basically.

**TheKevIsIn**: explains why I feel like I’ve heard that before

  
** MaxNotSoWell**: wait so The Party And The Collective work together?

**visceralVoid**: unfortunately

**Crackhead**: well, technically they just both work for the same asshole

**Batterypowered**: phrasing.

**thebirdboi**: ALEX

**visceralVoid**: ...

**Batterypowered**: oh come on, it was funny

**visceralVoid**: tRy mE BiTCh

**Crackhead**: aaaaaaand there she is

**Macheteman**: oh shit

**Vin E**: oh shit

**Macheteman**: Alex I would hide if I were you

**Batterypowered**: why? She’s nowhere near me.

**visceralVoid**: :)

**Macheteman**: because she can use the Connect to warp?

**Batterypowered**: ...

**Batterypowered**: shit

**AmIWright**: Alex is sooooo Dead

**TheStar**: again.

**clusterfuck extravaganza  
8:40PM**

**AmIWright**: aaaaaand she’s in the house now

**Macheteman**: I ASSUME YOU MEAN CRYPTIC

**TheStar**: yeah that’s the bitch

**Macheteman**: OK BUT HE HAD IT COMING

**NoThisIs**: He had it coming *bum bum*

**Macheteman**: PATRICK YOU BRILLIANT MOTHERFUCKER

**NoThisIs**: Thank you HABIT. Don’t bother introducing yourselves to me, the rest of you. Michael already filled me in.

**Crackhead**: so, you’re Patrick?

**NoThisIs**: Yep!

**Macheteman**: HE’S ACTUALLY A PRETTY DECENT INDIVIDUAL, CONSIDERING.

**NoThisIs**: Are you just trying to flatter me?

**Macheteman**: EH

_thebirdboi sent a video: rip_alex.mp4_

_(The video consists of Jay trying to sneakily follow Cryptic with a camera as she wanders through the house. Suddenly, there are rapid footsteps and Jay turns around to see Alex attempt to quickly run past and out the door. Suddenly, the footage glitches out and Cryptic appears in front of him, grabs him by the shirt collar, and chucks him out the window, where he then collides with a tree. Cryptic then cackles wildly before flashing a fanged smile at the camera and disappearing as it glitches again.)_

**AmIWright**: Alex is alive but he’s a bit bruised up

**TheStar**: he deserved it to be honest

**Macheteman**: PFFFFT THIS IS TYE FUNNIEST SHIT IVE SEEN ALL DAY

**NoThisIs**: Lol, this is great. Wish I’d been there.

**MaxNotSoWell**: Can we draw attention to the fact that Cryptic YEETED HIM OUT A WINDOW AND INTO A TREE?

**Vin E**: I’d watch the video but I’m driving right now

**Macheteman**: COWARD

**Vin E**: VROOM VROOM BITCH IM DRIVING

**Crackhead**: lmao

**Batterypowered**: I hate my life

**NoThisIs**: I can assure you everyone here agrees.

**Macheteman**: JOKES ON YOU I FUCKING LOVE MY LIFE

**NoThisIs**: Ah, I stand corrected!

**TheKevIsIn**: can I just say I have had things yeeted at me before so is it bad I am sympathizing with the tree here

**MaxNotSoWell**: oh yeah sorry about that Kev

**TheKevIsIn**: Nah it’s okay man you had a valid reason and technically you weren’t yeeting the bottle at me so

**Mynamejeff**: Holy shit she only used one hand to throw him Cryptic is strong

**Macheteman**: THAT’S HOT

**Crackhead**: HABIT I swear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t get over the Yeet thing from facade.
> 
> As before, I’m taking requests for things to happen in this fic or for the group chat to discuss.
> 
> Also thank you to Remi for the wonderful quote “vroom vroom bitch I’m driving”
> 
> Comments and Kudos appreciated! It helps keep me going ^-^


	4. Sleepovers (Now With Demons!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which HABIT and Cryptic's weird diets are discussed, Firebrand shows up again, Jax and Noah make an analogy involving roommates, Cryptic spends the night at Vin's with HABIT while Jax spends the night with Noah, Vin, and Kevin, the MH boys are just kinda there, and Michael just wants to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a whole lotta silliness and different ideas I decided to write all mashed together into one fun little chapter. 
> 
> Sorry this didn't go up earlier, I got busy (midterms are at the end of this week)
> 
> Look forward to the addition of another character (or two) in chapter 5!
> 
> I think this is the longest chapter yet in this fic. The bold and italics took forever. I'm gonna go curl up and scream now. Enjoy the chapter!

**the scream squad**   
**6:38PM**

_MaxNotSoWell changed the name of the group chat_

**Vin E**: I bought candy because Halloween is coming up but take a wild fucking guess as to what happened to all the Reese's.

**Macheteman**: HEY REESE'S ARE THE SHIT OKAY

**visceralVoid**: wⓍW

**Crackhead**: did he eat literally all of them?

**Mynamejeff**: in. One. Sitting.

**Batterypowered**: holy shit

**Crackhead**: then again, I've seen Cryptic eat, and they don't call her The Restless Hunger for nothing.

**Vin E**: tbh it's not the weirdest thing he's done when it comes to eating

**AmIWright**: wait what

**thebirdboi**: there's worse?

**FToPayRespects** joined the chat

**FToPayRespects**: Are we talking about how HABIT eats weird stuff

**TheKevIsIn**: apparently

**Macheteman**: IT'S NOT THAT WEIRD.

**Vin E**: HABIT YOU ATE A BABY!

**Batterypowered**: wait he did WHAT

**Macheteman**: SO WHAT

**visceralVoid**: I FAiL tⓍ sEe WhY tHiS Is SucH a bIG dEAl.

**MaxNotSoWell**: maybe because HABIT ate a _HUMAN CHILD_?!

**visceralVoid**: ivE HAd hUMaN BEfⓍRe

**Vin E**: what.

**Crackhead**: I hate to say it but it's true. She once microwaved human eyeballs at my house.

**Mynamejeff**: I'm gonna go puke

**MaxNotSoWell**: holy shit

**TheKevIsIn**: what the fuck, man?

**AmIWright**: WHY DO YOU TWO EAT THESE THINGS?!

**Macheteman**: BECAUSE WE CAN.

**visceralVoid**: bAsiCaLlY.

**Macheteman**: WELL, C ACTUALLY NEEDS TO OR IT CAN NEGATIVELY AFFECT HER HOST.

**Crackhead**: oh yeah I forgot about that

**Macheteman**: YEAH, NO SHIT JAX.

**FToPayRespects**: I mean, I'm pretty sure I've eaten some weird stuff. Past me definitely has.

**MaxNotSoWell**: true. I think the live crab was the most recent unusual thing I've eaten. To be honest, I try not to think about it.

**Crackhead**: doesn't prebrand eat raw bird meat?

**MaxNotSoWell**: picked that up from Arcane, did you?

**Crackhead**: yeah

**MaxNotSoWell**: yeah he does

**FToPayRespects**: immense disappointment in that version of past me

**MaxNotSoWell**: you and me both man

**11:23PM**

**TheKevIsIn**: I don't think I even wanna know what Observer eats

**MaxNotSoWell**: one time he had an eyeball in his mouth. I guess technically your mouth.

**TheKevIsIn**: oh HELL no

**FToPayRespects**: unfortunately it's true

**TheKevIsIn**: im gonna be sick

**visceralVoid**: hEY EyEBaLls ARe gⓍⓍd sHiT

**Mynamejeff**: ugh this is so gross

**Thebirdboi**: agreed

**AmIWright**: Jay I thought you went to bed early

**Batterypowered**: bold of you to assume any of us sleep properly

**Michaellothere**: speaking of which you guys woke me up with the notifications

**Vin E**: sorry Michael.

**Michaellothere**: I just want to get some sleep I finally got Patrick to shut up

**Crackhead**: what was the problem?

**Michaellothere**: he kept going on and on about some random shit, some of which had to do with HABIT.

**Macheteman**: WAIT WHAT DID HE SAY ABOUT ME

**Michaellothere**: I don't remember most of it. I was too busy trying to get him to shut up so I could sleep.

**FToPayRespects**: me @ the other members of the collective, constantly

**Vin E**: are they that annoying to you?

**FToPayRespects**: yes.

**Macheteman**: I DON'T BLAME YOU THEY'RE DICKS

**1:12AM**

**MaxNotSoWell**: Kev I just had a weird conversation are you awake

**TheKevIsIn**: yeah?

**MaxNotSoWell**: I was talking to Jax on a call and she said being possessed is like having a really shitty roommate

**TheKevIsIn**: .....shit you right

**Batterypowered**: I mean, I already have roommates, so....

**Vin E**: HABIT is like an annoying roommate sometimes

**Macheteman**: he's an asshole

**Mynamejeff**: oh hey welcome back Evan

**Crackhead**: wow did not expect everyone to agree with me lol

**Vin E**: Because of HABIT, Evan and I are pretty much roommates now.

**TheStar**: and they were roommates

**visceralVoid**: oh my god they were roommates

**TheStar**: cat you're my new favorite (except Tim of course)

**visceralVoid**: I'm honored. I accept this status with pride.

**Crackhead**: lmao hi cat

**TheKevIsIn**: honestly if Observer can be considered a roommate he is a far beyond shitty as a roommate

**TheKevIsIn**: shit he's awake now

**MaxNotSoWell**: on my way. Try to fight him.

_theeyes has joined the group chat_

**theeyes**: toolatehahahahahahahaha ☉

**MaxNotSoWell**: you're a dick

**theeyes**: takesonetoknowone ☉

**MaxNotSoWell**: twinkle twinkle little bitch suck my dick you fucking prick

**Crackhead**: I W H E E Z E D NOAH HOLY SHIT

**FToPayRespects**: I don't know whether to be shocked or proud

**theeyes**: thatcanbearrangednoah ☉

**MaxNotSoWell**: hard pass on that

**theeyes**: awyourenofun ☉

**MaxNotSoWell**: can I have my boyfriend back, please?

**theeyes:** ughfine ☉

_theeyes has left the chat_

**visceralVoid**: wow ok he's an ass

**MaxNotSoWell**: no shit Sherlock

**TheKevIsIn**: why must this happen to me

**MaxNotSoWell**: oh thank god you're back

**TheKevIsIn**: ...are you almost back home?

**MaxNotSoWell**: pulling into the driveway as we speak

**visceralVoid**: texting and driving is straight up illegal where Jax and I live

**Crackhead**: oh yeah I forgot about that if you're driving you're not supposed to be on the phone at all lol

**Vin E**: aaaaaaa

**Mynamejeff**: ?

**TheStar**: what's up Vin?

**Macheteman**: I AM WHAT'S UP, FUCKERS!

**Mynamejeff**: shit

**Vin E**: that's it I can't handle this right now

**Vin E**: hey Noah can I stay with you and Kevin tonight I'll sleep on the couch or something I just don't want to be stuck with HABIT right now

**MaxNotSoWell**: yeah come on over

**Vin E**: cool thanks

**Macheteman**: PUSSY. YOURE JUST SCARED OF ME.

**Vin E**: fuck off

**Macheteman**: HEY CAT LET ME TALK TO C

**visceralVoid**: what? Why?

**Macheteman**: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS NOW LET HER OUT

**visceralVoid**: nⓍ NEeD, i CAn TaKE cⓍnTrⓍl EaSilY. WHat's uP.

**Macheteman**: IVE GOT THE HOUSE TO MYSELF COME OVER AND SPEND THE NIGHT

**visceralVoid**: iLl bE THerE sⓍⓍN

**Macheteman**: YESSSSSSSSS

**Michaellothere**: Patrick is judging you rn HABIT

**Macheteman**: PATRICK CAN DEAL WITH IT

**Crackhead**: actually, Noah, can I join you guys? Got nothing better to do.

**MaxNotSoWell**: sure

**TheKevIsIn**: I'll send you the address

**Crackhead**: thanks. I'll see if Arcane is willing to be helpful and use the connect to help me get there.

**Mynamejeff**: are you guys just straight up having a slumber party?

**MaxNotSoWell**: apparently so

**Crackhead**: hell yeah

**AmIWright**: what has this chat come to

**3:27AM**

_Macheteman sent a video: SLEEPOVER_WITH_C.mp4_

_(The video consists of HABIT setting the camera up somewhere, then going to open the door. The footage glitches for a moment, briefly turning red and teal, before it clears up and HABIT opens the door, Cryptic standing on the other side. She practically tackles him and the two roughhouse a bit on the floor, growling at each other playfully, before they both get up and hug. The footage then cuts to the two of them playing a board game, which apparently Cryptic wins because HABIT flips the board and tackles her again before the footage glitches out. The video then cuts to the two of them in the kitchen, preparing a meal with significantly bloody ingredients. HABIT chops strange-looking, fresh, bloody meat with a knife while Cryptic cooks something on the stove, both of them splattered with blood. The video then cuts to the two of them watching a scary movie while sitting on the couch. Then cuts to Cryptic laying on her back on the couch and smirking at an off-screen HABIT. Next, we see it jump to Cryptic and HABIT glaring at something outside. The footage glitches out, and when it clears up the familiar purple effect that commonly shows up when HABIT is on camera is evident and very strong. A few red and teal glitches pop up here and there. Cryptic comes back into view licking blood off of one hand, her scissors in the other. HABIT walks in behind her carrying a bloody machete, drops it, pulls Cryptic close to him, and then the video ends.)_

_theeyes joined the chat_

**theeyes**: wowyoutwogotbusy ☉

**NoThisIs**: Aw, that looks like fun!

**Macheteman**: YOU CAN COME OVER TOO IN A BIT IF YOU WANT

**NoThisIs**: Why not now?

**Macheteman**: CRYPTIC AND I DECIDED TO GO MESS AROUND ELSEWHERE FOR A BIT SO WE CAN BE IN OUR TRUE FORMS IF WE WANT

**NoThisIs**: ah. To be honest, I think Michael and I are just going to get some sleep. So I'll pass.

**Vin E**: do I even want to know what you two were eating?

**Macheteman**: I THINK YOU CAN GUESS

**MaxNotSoWell**: that is still disgusting.

**theeyes**: areyouinabadmoodorsomethingnowthatimherenoah ☉

**MaxNotSoWell**: just shut up asshole

**theeyes**: makemehahahahahahahahaha ☉

**3:45AM**

_Crackhead sent a video: he_made_him.mp4_

_(The video takes place a few moments after Observer said "Make me." Observer is cackling like a maniac on the living room couch, when suddenly Noah takes off one of his socks and shoves it in Observer's mouth. Observer gags and spits it out before looking at Noah with offense, shock and disgust)_

**theeyes**: THATWASUNCALLEDFORNOAH ☉

**MaxNotSoWell**: you deserved it

**FToPayRespects**: SUCK IT

  
**4:39AM**

_Crackhead sent a video: sleepover_squad.mp4_

_(The video is a montage of various activities that Jax, Noah, Kevin ((now back to his proper self)), and Vin do during the sleepover. Vin and Kevin cook some dinner, they watch a movie which Kevin falls asleep on Noah during the second half of, then they play Just Dance, and find that Kevin kicks ass at all the Britney Spears and Lady Gaga songs, also Noah and Kevin do a few couple dances while Jax cheers them on, and all four do some of the silly four-person dances like Tetris. They play games like truth or dare, monopoly (which Jax wins to everyone's surprise and Noah's frustration), and such. At one point they play a few other video games, including some horror games. A few times throughout the night, people can be seen sending the previously sent messages to the group chat.)_

**Mynamejeff**: you guys seem to be having fun

**Crackhead**: yep!

**AmIWright**: is that Just Dance

**TheStar**: awww I want in

**AmIWright**: I kinda do too

**TheStar**: Tim kicks ass at Just Dance he's a great dancer

**AmIWright**: I'm really not that good, Bri.

**TheStar**: I beg to differ. You are a hot, hot man, Tim.

**Batterypowered**: USE. YOUR. ROOM.

**Thebirdboi**: Tim _is_ a good dancer tho

**Batterypowered**: true

**Thebirdboi**: but so are you Alex you've got some moves

**Batterypowered**: wait when did you ever see me dance

**Thebirdboi**: remember the Taylor Swift incident?

**Batterypowered**: WAIT NO SHUT UP THEY DONT NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT YET

**Thebirdboi**: I thought it was kinda hot

**Crackhead**: I'm dying lmao

**MaxNotSoWell**: a "Taylor Swift" incident you say?

**TheKevIsIn**: Noah get over here we're about to play mariokart

**Crackhead**: Imma blue shell yo asses

**Vin E**: please dont

**Batterypowered**: phrasing

**Thebirdboi**: ALEX

  
**4:52AM**

_Vin E sent a video: we_woke_him_up.mp4_

_(Vinny is holding the camera, and most of the group is starting to fall asleep, when there is the sudden sound of two pans being hit against each other. This sound repeats twice before Patrick steps into view, holding said pans and continuing the rhythm of banging them against each other, and yells at the group, re-enacting the "I DONT GET NO SLEEP CAUSE OF YALL- YALL NOT GON GET NO SLEEP CAUSE OF ME" meme)_

**Vin E**: I think everybody talking a bunch in the chat woke Patrick up

**Macheteman**: PFFFHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OK BUT YOU GUYS HAD THAT COMING

**MaxNotSoWell**: he woke everyone up

**NoThisIs**: Karma. Michael and I are trying to sleep. Your constant messaging kept waking us up.

**Macheteman**: TO BE HONEST YOU GUYS DESERVED GETTING WOKEN UP BY PATRICK YOU ALMOST WOKE UP C.

**Crackhead**: she actually fell asleep?

_Macheteman sent a photo: SLEEPY_C.jpg_

_(The picture shows Cryptic resting on the couch with her head in HABIT's lap, three of the six appendages coming from her back wrapped around his torso. She is clearly asleep. HABIT is running a hand through her hair.)_

**Crackhead**: holy shit I didn't think it was possible

**MaxNotSoWell**: what are those three sharp things that kinda look like some kind of insect legs or something

**Crackhead**: come over to my side of the room I'll explain

**MaxNotSoWell**: ok

**NoThisIs**: just don't wake us up again.

**Macheteman**: DON'T WAKE UP CRYPTIC EITHER, GETTING HER TO SLEEP AT ALL IS NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE.

**Crackhead**: ok, but, in all honesty, what are you gonna do, stab me?

**Macheteman**: YES.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic, now featuring:
> 
> -Cryptic and HABIT being Cryptic and HABIT, but now in the same room  
-Even more memes and references than before  
-A reference to A Weird Cosplayer's YouTube music video of Alex Kralie to the song Look What You Made Me Do  
-Eyeballs  
-oh my god they were roommates  
-Cat only being cat for a small amount of time  
-more videos  
-Everyone being dumbasses  
-Alex is still a dick and nobody is surprised by it anymore  
-Except Jay for some reason  
-new group chat name  
-about four people needing to puke in the same night
> 
> Comments and Kudos appreciated! 
> 
> And once more, thanks to the group chat for some of the lovely quotes I've decided to use in this fic.


	5. What Is This "Sleep" You Speak Of?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the true forms of HABIT and Cryptic are discussed, Alex gets stuck with Masky, Hoody, and Skully, Jax plays Eyes, Vinny eats a salad with his hands, beef stew goes flying, much to Noah and Kevin's dismay, and even more group chat quotes happen. 
> 
> (A whole bunch of little convos because my original plan for this chapter didn't work out. All the shenanigans. All of it.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I tried to write Milo into the fic here, but... It just wasn't working. I tried rewriting it seven times before I gave up and decided to cut milo from the fic. My apologies. Also I WAS READY TO POST THIS AND THEN THE PAGE REFRESHED AND IM GONNA BE BITTER ABOUT IT FOR WEEKS BECAUSE I CAN
> 
> This chapter has so many quotes from and references to my actual group chat it's insane

**the scream squad**   
** 9:14PM**

_Macheteman changed his nickname to TimeForStab_

**Crackhead**: oh great I'm stuck with this asshole again

**visceralVoid**: sUCkS tⓍ BE YⓍu i guEsS, ARcAnE

**Crackhead**: shitface

**visceralVoid**: biTcHBAbY

**TimeForStab**: YOU TWO ARE AT IT AGAIN?

**visceralVoid**: i Am sⓍ rEAdY tⓍ StAB hEr. wiTh aLl siX.

**Vin E**: all six what?

**TimeForStab**: THE THINGS THAT COME OUT OF HER BACK. THE SHARP THINGS THAT ARE KINDA LIKE INSECT LEGS.

**Batterypowered**: Tf?

**TimeForStab**: I FORGET SOME OF YOU HAVENT SEEN HER TRUE FORM

**TimeForStab**: FUN FACT HER TRUE FORM HAS 13 ARMS

**Crackhead**: it's not _that_ impressive.

**TheKevIsIn**: 13?!

**visceralVoid**: yES.

**Mynamejeff**: holy shit

**Batterypowered**: wait HABIT don't you have some sort of true form too?

**TimeForStab**: YEAH WHY

**Batterypowered**: do you have extra arms too?

**TimeForStab**: GOT EXTRA EYES. SPIDER LEGS COMIN OUTTA MY BACK AND SHIT. NO EXTRA ARMS THOUGH

**Michaellothere**: I still need sleep

**TimeForStab**: THAT'S UNFORTUNATE FOR YOU.

**visceralVoid**: I ALsⓍ hAvE HOrnS aNd SⓍmE ⓍtHEr ShiT

**Batterypowered**: damn

**the scream squad  
5:32AM**

**Batterypowered**: guys help

**Vin E**: what seems to be the problem?

**AmIWright**: Alex are you hiding again where tf are you

**Batterypowered**: _they_ are the problem

**Thebirdboi**: wow rude

**TheStar**: No need to be an ass, Kralie.

**MaxNotSoWell**: all three?

**Batterypowered**: yep

**TheKevIsIn**: oh shit, man

**NoThisIs**: Perhaps if you were nicer to them, it wouldn't be a problem.

**TheStar**: Patrick makes a point

**NoThisIs**: Thank you.

**Thebirdboi**: we're not even trying to hurt you Alex.

**Batterypowered**: ugh fine

**Batterypowered: **I'm in the bathroom just a minute

**the scream squad**

**5:37AM**

**Batterypowered**: FIRST OF ALL, FUCK YOU, HOODY

**AmIWright**: I'm afraid that's _my_ job, Alex

**Crackhead**: STDCYOFYISTISTISOYDOYSJTARJQ MASKY HOLY SHIT

**Vin E**: what even happened?

**Thebirdboi**: he came out of the bathrooms and hoody was standing right there

**Thebirdboi**: he screamed like a little girl and fell backwards

**Thebirdboi**: welp he's in the toilet

**Batterypowered**: SHUT UP

**Thebirdboi**: his _ass_ is stuck _in_ the toilet

**TheStar**: I'm recording it

**AmIWright**: yes

**TheKevIsIn**: _hell_ yes

**visceralVoid**: hell _fucking_ yes

**Crackhead**: Cat! You're back!

**visceralVoid**: hi Jax

**TimeForStab**: is his ass _still_ stuck in the toilet

**TheStar**: Yes :)

**Batterypowered**: WILL _SOMEONE_ HELP ME OUT

**AmIWright**: nope

**TheStar**: your ass will suffer

**the scream squad**

**10:42AM**

**Vin E**: I tried to eat a salad but I don't have any forks or knives (HABIT stole them for some reason) and all the spoons are dirty right now so

**Vin E**: I ate the salad with my hands

**TimeForStab**: you could've asked me where the forks and knives are I think I know where he put them

**Vin E**: too late now

**Mynamejeff**: he's the salad tosser

**MaxNotSoWell**: we seem to be having food issues too

**TheKevIsIn**: THE BEEF STEW NO

**MaxNotSoWell**: _Someone_, who I have a hunch _might_ be one of the Collective, put beef stew in the fucking _blender_??? _Without_ putting the lid on?

**TheKevIsIn**: oh my god beef stew is flying everywhere

**Crackhead**: oh lawf

**Crackhead**: *lawd

**visceralVoid**: lawf

**TimeForStab**: lawf

**Batterypowered**: lawf

**TheStar**: lawf

**Crackhead**: damn it

**the scream squad**

**11:53AM**

**FToPayRespects**: can confirm that the beef stew thing was Cursor's doing

**MaxNotSoWell**: she's a bitch

**FToPayRespects**: this is true

**visceralVoid**: guys I found an unopened bag of Cheetos

**visceralVoid**: I'm gonna munch

**visceralVoid**: I'm gonna crunch

**Crackhead**: cat oh my god

**visceralVoid**: :)

  
** the scream squad  
1:07AM**

**visceralVoid**: gloves are just hand socks

**Vin E**: excuse me what the _fuck_

**Mynamejeff**: does anyone here _ever_ sleep

**MaxNotSoWell**: nope

**Crackhead**: sometimes but not often

**TheStar**: only when I'm with Tim

**AmIWright**: only when I'm with Brian

**Batterypowered**: then go the fuck to sleep you two

**the scream squad**

**2:19AM**

_BirdEater joined the group chat_

_BirdEater sent an image to the group chat: style.jpg_

_(The image is of Prebrand, wearing... booty shorts.)_

_((Author's Note: You have my actual group chat to blame for this. Specifically Remi. Look what you've done, Remi.))_

_TimeForStab kicked BirdEater from the group chat_

**Crackhead**: I genuinely don't know what to say to that

**visceralVoid**: does Arcane have anything to say about it

**Crackhead**: you _don't_ wanna know what she has to say about it, trust me 0-0

**visceralVoid**: wow

**the scream squad  
7:21PM**

**Crackhead**: so I'm playing this horror game called EYES, and I'm playing this mode with this little pumpkin bitch, and I can't find my little pumpkin bitch

**visceralVoid**: FDSHFG "_PUMPKIN BITCH"_ IM _DYING_

**Crackhead**: I miss my pumpkin bitch. Where's my pumpkin bitch.

**MaxNotSoWell**: okay the name of that game hits a _little_ too close to home for my liking but, "pumpkin bitch"...

**Batterypowered**: pumpkin bitch™

**TheStar**: _pumpkin bitch_

**TimeForStab**: _pumpkin bitch_

**visceralVoid**: _p u m p k i n b i t c h_

**Crackhead**: all I wanted was my pumpkin bitch... Is that too much to ask in this cruel world? there are so many things in this world that make us sad, that make us angry... or depressed... we feel lost... but there's always one thing that gives us immense satisfaction in this terrible, terrible world... I find _my_ satisfaction... in my little pumpkin bitch! And I want to be with my little pumpkin bitch always! This terrible game has taken away my pumpkin bitch, and in the process has left me in a state of horrible depression. Fuck this game. Fuck the creator. I want my pumpkin bitch.

**visceralVoid**: holy _shit _Jax

**TimeForStab**: *thunderous applause*

**Mynamejeff**: this is why God abandoned this timeline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not featured in this chapter:  
-Hoody hid the tape so Alex couldn't burn it  
-Masky flushed the toilet while Alex was stuck  
-Skully did eventually help Alex out of the toilet  
-It turns out Evan actually was wrong about where HABIT hid the forks.  
-HABIT refuses to tell.  
-Observer tried to eat the stew off the floor  
-Noah tried to stop him  
-Noah failed to stop him  
-Arcane had MANY things to say about Prebrand wearing booty shorts ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
-Jax did eventually find her pumpkin bitch  
-Observer looked up the game EYES and installed it on Kevin's phone. He loves it. Sometimes he calls Jax to ask for tips.  
-Firebrand dumped beef stew on Cursor as payback for the blender thing.
> 
> Fun fact: that whole spiel about the pumpkin bitch actually happened. That really long speech Jax gave? Actual thing she said. Word for word. I shit you not. 
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated! They help keep me going ^-^


	6. A Party With Possessed and Mentally Ill People? What Could Go Wrong? (Absolutely Everything)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the gang has a New Year's party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here we are. The final chapter! This one is a bit different, and you'll see why shortly. Also, it features a few series-specific group chats as well as the big one. No group chat quotes this time, but still plenty of shenanigans. I got writer's block about halfway through writing this chapter and by the time I got over that and came back to it I was ready to just get it over with, so I'm sorry if this chapter isn't as good as I hope. 
> 
> Either way, I hope you enjoy!

**EverymemeHY_BIRD_**  
**1:32PM**

**TimeForStab:** hey guys I had an idea

**Mynamejeff**: _Evan_ has an idea? We're all gonna die

**TimeForStab**: oh just shut up and hear me out

**Vin E**: go ahead then

**TimeForStab**: New Year's is coming up, right?

**Vin E**: yeah?

**TimeForStab**: what if we held a party? And invited the people from the group chat?

**Mynamejeff**: are you sure about that? You do realize that's risking putting HABIT, Observer, Firebrand, Arcane, Cryptic, Patrick, and Prebrand all in the same room?

**TimeForStab**: So what? We're used to their shit by now, it shouldn't be a problem.

**Vin E**: it's just really dangerous. Someone could end up dead.

**TimeForStab**: or it could end up being the best party we've ever been to

**Vin E**: we are _not_ throwing a New Year's Eve party.

**the scream squad  
1:47PM**

**Vin E**: We're throwing a New Year's Eve party.

**MaxNotSoWell**: huh?

**Vin E**: Evan's idea.

**TimeForStab**: Hell yeah!

**MaxNotSoWell**: Are you sure that's a good idea?

**TimeForStab**: We're doing it anyways because why the hell not!

**MaxNotSoWell**: I mean, fair enough.

**visceralVoid**: how are we supposed to get there, though?

**TimeForStab**: HABIT offered to help but I'm not gonna let him. Vinny is looking into plane tickets and carpool arrangements.

**TheKevIsIn**: do we need to bring snacks

**TimeForStab**: if you can, please do

**TheStar**: where do you guys live again?

**TimeForStab**: New Jersey

**AmIWright**: we're in Alabama, so it's kinda far

**MaxNotSoWell**: well, I'm in Florida. Been to New Jersey a few times though.

**visceralVoid**: Tennessee for us

**Mynamejeff**: wow you guys are mostly southerners

**visceralVoid**: YOU'VE YEED YOUR LAST FUCKING HAW

**Crackhead**: lmao

  
**Floridaman Adventures  
2:00PM**

**MaxNotSoWell**: so, are we gonna fly there?

**TheKevIsIn**: driving definitely wouldn't be any safer, but apparently flying isn't safe either.

**MaxNotSoWell**: what other options do we have?

**TheKevIsIn**: not much, man. Unless you want to get _warped_ to New Jersey again.

**MaxNotSoWell**: solid pass on that one, Kev.

**TheKevIsIn**: agreed. So, flying it is?

**MaxNotSoWell**: I suppose. Maybe things will be better since we'll be together.

**MaxNotSoWell**: ugh that was cheesy

**TheKevIsIn**: it was cute though

  
** [The Day Before New Year's Eve] **

**the scream squad  
11:46PM**

**visceralVoid**: we just got off the plane

**Vin E**: do you guys need to get picked up?

**visceralVoid**: I mean, we could probably walk if we knew where we were going, but we've never been to New Jersey before.

**Vin E**: Evan and I will meet you two at the airport, then.

**MaxNotSoWell**: there are a lot more weapons in this house than there were the last time i was here

**TimeForStab**: yeah, that's mostly HABIT's doing

**TheKevIsIn**: Observer apparently is genuinely impressed by it

**visceralVoid**: before we get there, hide the scissors if you want to live

**Crackhead**: also baseball bats

**Mynamejeff**: hey batter batter hey batter batter swing

**Crackhead**: please don't give her ideas

**Batterypowered**: was that a fucking high school musical reference

**TheStar**: tbh high school musical 2 was the shit

**AmIWright**: Hey do you guys have any painkillers or anything I feel like shit rn

**TheStar**: is it the usual?

**AmIWright**: no, I don't think he's inclined to show up right now.

**TheStar**: you're in the guest room right

**AmIWright**: yeah

**TheStar**: I'll come help

**FToPayRespects**: well this happened

_FToPayRespects sent a video: three_noahs_one_room_pure_chaos.mp4_

_(Firebrand, Prebrand, and Noah are all in the living room. Firebrand is just standing there looking smug with his arms folded, Prebrand is bouncing excitedly like the absolute lunatic there is, and Noah just looks confused and vaguely distressed. Kevin walks into the room, sees this going down, turns around and immediately walks back out. The video then cuts to Prebrand getting mad at Firebrand for something and shouting mostly unintelligible insults, and Firebrand unsurprisingly not giving a single shit and shutting Prebrand down with various calm comebacks, such as "You do realize by insulting me you're insulting yourself too, right?" which mostly leave Prebrand frustrated. Noah looks on in distress. Firebrand says, "See? You're scaring Noah," just before Observer walks in, cackling, and the other three all groan in annoyance.)_

**Crackhead**: I wanna laugh but at the same time I feel so bad for Noah rn

**Vin E**: and so it begins

**Thebirdboi**: I honestly have no idea what to think about this.

**MaxNotSoWell**: tbh I think this sums up what my life is like pretty well.

**MaxNotSoWell**: oh kev's back

**TheKevIsIn**: he literally did that for the sole purpose of annoying all three of you

**MaxNotSoWell**: he's an ass

_BirdEater joined the chat_

**BirdEater**: can't argue with ya on that one

**Michaellothere**: I found a cat?

**TimeForStab**: also HABIT's. If it's the gray one it's Isabelle.

**Vin E**: I'm amazed the cats trust him at all

**Crackhead**: there's a member of The Party who really likes cats

**visceralVoid**: is it bad that now I want to see Figment and HABIT enthuse about cats together

**TimeForStab**: honestly he'd probably love it

** [New Year's Eve] **

As expected, a get together of fourteen people (twenty-two if you count HABIT, Observer, Cryptic, Arcane, Masky, Hoody, Skully, and Patrick) all in the same house in New Jersey was most likely not the best idea. Did anyone care? Of course not.

The day/evening's events are as follows:

Evan woke up super early and went around waking everyone else up, much to the frustration of several individuals. Some, such as Michael and Noah, cussed him out, some, such as Cat, Alex, and Brian, threw things at him, some, such as Kevin, Jeff, and Firebrand, refused to get up, and a few, specifically Jax and Tim, didn't wake up at all and just kept sleeping.

Evan, Cat, and Brian worked together to make breakfast for everyone. Evan got frustrated with the stove and almost punched it. Cat threatened Prebrand with a chef knife about seventeen times. She actually got fed up and lightly cut him once, on the upper arm, and had... Immediate regret about doing so for reasons that will remain undisclosed.

Alex flirted with Jay during the entirety of breakfast. Brian refused to be outdone and decided to flirt with a Tim as well. Breakfast was now extremely awkward for everyone else involved as the Marble Hornets boys found themselves caught up in a flirting war. (Brian won. Alex threw a piece of bacon at him. Brian ate the piece of bacon.)

Vinny and Michael did the dishes while the others helped set up for the party. Jax was frustrated with her incapability to hang any decorations due to her height, which Cat teased her about as per the norm. Prebrand tried to eat some of the decorations. Alex tried to arrange some of the streamers to resemble a dick. Jay distracted him from this, long enough for Tim and Brian to demolish it.

HABIT showed up for a bit and complained about the lack of purple regarding the decorations. He then tried to "spruce up" the decorations by randomly spraying them with purple spray paint or putting purple duct tape on them.

When the party inevitably began, Tim and Noah made a beeline for the alcohol. Within a few hours, both were absolutely wasted.

Cat, Tim, Alex, Kevin, Evan, and Prebrand had a dance-off. Cat won. Prebrand sulked like a child until Arcane showed up and he promptly forgot about losing the dance-off.

Noah drunkenly flirted with Kevin. It worked. Eventually Kevin got extremely flustered and had to excuse himself to the bathroom.

Cat, Evan, Kevin, Jax, Jeff, and Michael played Mariokart. Jeff almost won, but Michael hit him with a blue shell at the last minute. Jeff threw his controller in aggravation, and it scared the absolute shit out of Isabelle. HABIT was not happy about this and Jeff soon found himself locked in a small closet.

Vinny eventually helped Jeff get out of the aforementioned closet

Alex spiked the punch with the alcohol. Cat and Jax weren't drinking the punch (they brought their own sodas) but most of the others were. Almost everyone got drunk.

The EMH and TT boys played Go Fish. Observer, in control at the time and resting with his head on Noah's lap, occasionally yelled out what cards Noah had. Noah managed to shut him up by burying a hand in Observer's hair.

After the game of Go Fish, Observer dragged Noah to one of the guest bedrooms and the two were not seen again for half an hour.

Cryptic and HABIT decided a game of Hide and Seek was a good idea, and Arcane got in on it too. It was basically all the normal people versus HABIT, Observer, Cryptic, Arcane, Masky, Hoody, Skully, and Patrick. It was a terrifying experience for about half of the people involved. At one point Patrick was straight up unable to be found during one of the rounds he was hiding. They eventually gave up and decided he would come out of hiding eventually. Noah found him ten minutes later when he opened the fridge to get another drink and found Patrick sitting inside.

Cryptic used the six appendages on her back to climb onto the ceiling and drop down on people to scare the shit out of them. She tried to scare HABIT through this method but he just caught her when she dropped down and smirked at her before saying, "LOOKS LIKE YOU FELL FOR ME." It was very cheesy. Cryptic was amused. Nobody else was.  
(Author's Note: Yes, all of HABIT's dialogue is going to be in all caps. I find it funny. You can't stop me.)

When it hit midnight, Tim tried to kiss Brian but stumbled and accidentally knocked him over, both of them falling onto the ground with Tim on top of Brian. Firebrand took a picture at Alex's request.

Jay, completely hammered, spotted a bird outside and sat crouched on the windowsill making strange bird noises for fifteen minutes. When asked about what he was doing, he replied, "I'm communicating with my brethren." Alex decided to join in.

Almost everyone eventually passed out in various locations amongst the floor and couches. Cat was curled up in a ball on one of the couches, talking in her sleep about complete nonsense. Jax was sprawled out on the floor with a can of Mello Yello still in her hand. Tim and Brian remained on the floor from when they fell and ended up falling asleep in that position. Tim had, at some point, managed to wrap his arms around Brian's back, supporting his back as he lay there, and it seemed to help both of them sleep better. Alex was asleep leaned back in a sitting position in a recliner chair, Jay laying across the director's lap. Noah and Kevin slept in the guest room, Kevin's glasses placed neatly aside and the two holding each other close. Vinny slept in his room with Evan, having managed to get HABIT to give Evan back control and let him sleep after a few hours of coaxing. Michael passed out at the dining room table, and someone entertained themselves by folding a napkin into a little hat and putting it on his head before they went to sleep (it was HABIT). Prebrand slept face-down on the bathroom floor. Firebrand and Jeff stayed up for a bit and had a quite pleasant little conversation about various things before eventually heading off to bed like the responsible adults they tried to be. (Firebrand ended up getting too warm and wound up sleeping in the refrigerator with the door open and his legs hanging out. You tried, Firebrand. He tried to be a mature, responsible, adult god-demon thing. It just wasn't meant to be. After all, he is the future version of Noah.)

The next morning, everyone eventually said their goodbyes and returned home. Vinny discovered a few hours later that HABIT hid cameras throughout the house and recorded the entire party. After a large amount of editing out some things that..... None of the others would probably appreciate seeing, he sent it to the group chat. Hilarity, wild laughter, a large amount of teasing, and a rather ludicrous amount of keyboard smashing ensued.

In hindsight, this group chat was a horrible idea.

But it was also a wonderful idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to Evan And His Bad Ideas™
> 
> Not featured in this chapter:
> 
> -Cat going on a plane for the first time.  
-Cat messaging the others using excessive amounts of southern slang in direct messages for at least an hour.  
-Noah had a panic attack while he was on the flight with Kevin, but Kevin helped him through it.  
-When Vinny and Evan picked up Cat and Jax, the four of them listened to meme songs in the car the whole way to Vinny and Evan's place. They screamed Don't Stop Me Now at the top of their lungs.  
-Arcane looked up the "Hey batter batter hey batter batter swing" reference Jeff made. She now listens to "I Don't Dance" from high school musical quite often.  
-Kevin being literally unable to handle the concept of three Noahs in the same room. Poor boy just couldn't take it.  
-Everyone loves HABIT's cats. Cryptic eventually introduced HABIT to Figment. As expected, Figment and HABIT spent literal hours enthusiastically discussing cats. Cryptic recorded it for her own amusement. HABIT introduced Figment to his cats. They now get together regularly to talk about cats, and they send each other cat videos and pictures often.  
-Patrick came back to the house after the party the next time Evan tried to sleep and once again recreated the "I DONT GET NO SLEEP CAUSE OF YALL" vine as payback for Evan waking everyone up.  
-Masky, Hoody, and Skully showed up a few times during the party, but mostly kept to themselves. Masky and Hoody just cuddled on the couch, and Alex tried to flirt with Skully, with varying amounts of success.  
-For info on the undisclosed reason Cat regretted cutting Prebrand, read ObserverFuck's Precane fic, "Just Another Visit."  
-If you don't know why Noah's hand in Observer's hair was what got Observer to stop shouting out Noah's cards..... Go read basically any of ObserverFuck's TribeTwelve fics.
> 
> Special thanks to ObserverFuck, The_Trash_Named_Remi, and the rest of my group chat for some of the amazing quotes and other jokes found throughout this fic.
> 
> Also special thanks to all of you who left comments giving me feedback! It's really helped me think more about what I write and write better content. 
> 
> There may possibly be bonus chapters or a little bonus fic of sorts detailing some of the things "not featured" in these chapters. Look forward to it, if it happens.
> 
> As always, comments and kudos massively appreciated, and thank you for reading my fic!
> 
> Now, I'm gonna go get some sleep.


End file.
